Curl up in a ball and die a little.

Im so scared and more and more putting myself in a hole with the hope i can get myself out.
Im all alone now, i am by myself in this and its how i wanted it.
I need to work my own things out and not drag people down into it.
I cant expect him to be there all the time to hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay.
I cant expect people to run their lives around me.
I know i need to do this even though all i want is you back in my bed.
This time i have to be strong, i cant run to you tomorrow when im feeling weak,
I dont want to put you through this again and i know if i dont sort it out i will.
But i do understand if you cant be here..
There is no doubt about me loving you.
I didnt want to cry in front of you, i didnt want to show you that side of me again.
I couldnt help it because the thought of me doing it hurt me so much.
And thats why im a mess, its why you deserve better, Its why i hate myself.
Because i can never make sense, i can never do things right and i hope this time i can..