Stay Safe Or Dive Head First?

It does my head in all the time. Sends everything upside down.
Its confusing. Unknown territory for me. And i dont like it.
I hate feeling so unsure, so i sure hate feeling like this.
I know what i want. Well, atleast i use to.
I dont even know if i know what i want.
Its so hot and cold, on and off.
I use to have the whole "Edward vs Jacob" issue.
But now they are equal in good and bad.
I know where im comfortable and what will last the longest.
The other half, i just dont know. I dont know how i feel.
I dont know if it would work, or how long it would last.
You most likly dont even see me like that.
But then we have certain moments where its just perfect.
To me anyways...
I'll be honest. I have wanted you, i want you.
I want you to give me attention, to talk to me all the time.
To hold my hand the whole carry one.
And when you do, i think i take it the wrong way.
Im sure its just a friends things.
Because i do hold alot of my friends hands and tell them i love them and such.
It could be exactly like that and im just looking at it from how i wished it was.
But maybe i feel this attraction because it is new, exciting, scary.
And if it was, then i would get over it after the novelty wore off.
I just, plainly, dont know.