I got down to 62kilos. I've never been that light for as long as I can remember. Then something happen, I went on holidays, I was babysitting and inside everyday, I didn't go to the gym and I ate all their free food. I got bad old and bad sloth like habits and have gained 8 kilos. When I last went on the scales, a few days ago, I weighed in at 70 kilos. I haven't been this heavy in such a long time. I don't know how I could have done this to myself and let my self loose so much control. It broke me down, now I don't have enough spirit to even get back to going to the gym everyday because well, what's the use? I'm always going to be fatter. But now I'm left feeling like shit. For some reason my anxiety has risen to a point where I don't remember when it was this bad. I'll haveatleast 3 attacks day. Mainly when I wake up. It takes me so long to compose myself to go to school or sleep when it hits at night. What girl doesn't want to be hot and skinny? That's why I try not to talk about how bad this is affecting me to others hence me writing it in a blog.
A lot of people think they are fat, and they arn't. They wouldn't know what it's like to be fat. I do. When I was 14 I weighed 85 kilos. I was classified as obese. I'm so scared to be that again.I got teased daily for being that big. I know how it feels to be ridiculed for just your appearance, people are shallow and say things they don't relize would have the affect that they would.
I don't think anyone understands what goes on in my head but everyone does, I've learnt that. We all have the same insane thoughts. I still won't share mine, this is only a glipse into my insane mind set on these. And the rest I will never tell because frankly, who cares. Everyone is dealing wi the same shit.

And it would attention seeking. Not an actual issue.
Apparently.