i feel like i cant have bad days, or feel bad or want to complain.
It makes me feel horrible and selfish.
I know my life could be alot worse. I know people who have it alot harder.
But then i know people who couldnt have it any better and complain 24/7.
I never want to seem like anything is bothering me, let alone let people know about things.
I do want to talk to people, tell them about things, then i just feel stupid.
Ive tried, because i had to explain why i wasnt talking to them and it just made me feel pathetic.
So as i am now, i probably still wont talk to people about anything.
And lie about it or shrug it all off.
I want to be strong for the people i love, they dont need me to be weak.
I took the day off school today, to catch up on school work but i slept til 1. i went to sleep at 10 oclock last night.
Im currently doing school work and feeling alright about it, i need to get through this year with a decent grade because i know how much people have sacrificed to put me in this position.
One day, ill cry and be able to tell someone everything. That poor person. But then again this person might just hear it, laugh at me, call me stupid and walk away. And they would be right and ive atleast opened up.

I have constant moments when i stop, think, relize and remember then cherish.
The fact that i am so lucky that i have a best friend as perfect as i do.
I believe its the best thing life could give. Love, friendship, trust, loyalty, everything in one pretty package.

Im so tired of crying everyday.

That awkward moment when my mum refers to you as my boyfriend and i yell at her about nothing then feel my stomach drop and want to have some sort of moment.